Hellenic League Premier Division
3pm – Saturday 1st August 2026.
Venue: Oaklands Park, Almondsbury, Bristol, BS32 4AG
Football’s back. Not that nonsense of a tournament held in the hotbed of soccer that is the United States of Donald. A tournament where the occasional football tourist was given the chance to boo 22 blokes for having a drink after running around for 25 minutes in 90 degree heat.
You remember….the one in which we got to see Brazil narrowly beat the Isle of Mull, while the French needed an injury time winner over The Lesser Antilles to progress to the knock out stage. We used to know it as the World Cup but, if we believe what we read, in four years it will probably be called the Google Trophy or the Apple Bowl while a man with a childlike name is seen hurriedly wheeling a barrow load of cash through the stadium helipark straight to the Dubai branch of HSBC.
Anyway, it’s back to Step Five football this weekend. A branch of the game unsullied by naked greed or rampant self-interest.
Or is it?
To be honest, we shouldn’t be playing against the Glass tomorrow. Two teams are promoted from the Hellenic Premier each season. After a full 38 game programme, The Glass finished second in the table and by rights should have been playing Step Four football this season. The fact that they are not is entirely the result of the totally unnecessary end of season play offs. I’ve heard all the arguments raised in favour of the play offs by those (well paid) guardians of our game but they are all excuses for the leagues to make a few quid. As you know, the Saltmen fell at the final hurdle when well over a thousand people turned up to a Sold Out Kingys only to see us lose to the same team who beat The Glass in the previous round.
“Yeah,” I hear you mutter “but that must have been great for the club coffers.” Well, I suspect it wasn’t as lucrative as we might expect. The gate money had to be split with the opponents and the Hellenic League, whose only contribution to the best of my admittedly limited knowledge was to mess about with the fixture dates and trouser the cash. The additional costs of hosting a “big” game like this and at least four (count ’em!) match officials make a rather a large hole in the revenue. Thankfully, the US president had not become an expert on the laws of the game by that time or the cost would have been even greater.
But enough of the intrigue and politics. It has been a quiet closed season at Kingys. The club only lost its long term manager, who missed taking the club from Step Seven to Step Four by ninety minutes. Oh….and half a dozen first team regulars who had given excellent service to the club over a number of years.
So tomorrow marks the for-real start of the new era under the command of Quentin Townsend and Mark Owen (at least until Gary Barlow is feeling a bit skint again). Quent has brought in a host of promising young players, chomping at the bit to wear the famous red and black stripes, and one or two more experienced faces, including the return of the much missed Gas (not Glass) fan, Sam Carey.
Quent has also secured the services of the lion’s share fan favourites from previous campaigns including the club’s highest scorer for the last two years, (Sir) Alex Dugmore.
I won’t speculate on the strengths of Roman Glass St George. That’s largely due to my own ignorance. One thing I do know is they are perennial high flyers in the division and will go into the season opener as favourites to be right up there again in April.
The Glass play their home games at the HQ of the Gloucestershire FA and thew facilities are of a suitably high standard. If I remember correctly the bar has a full length (width?) view of the pitch and the stadium, itself offers plenty of shelter from the rain or, as seems more likely, sun. It is also about the easiest away ground to find. If you are travelling down by car, bus, lorry, van or motorcycle take the M5 South to Junction 16. Turn right* at the roundabout onto the Gloucester Road towards Almondsbury; after 100 yards take the first left and follow the lane.
*If you are travelling north on the M5 you should also leave at Junction 16 but turn left at the roundabout.
Google won’t mind. I’ll tell em Gianni said it was OK
I can’t wait.
See you there!
Cheers
FTS
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