FOLLOWING THE SALTMEN

Royal Wootton Bassett 2-2 Droitwich Spa

UhlSport Hellenic League, Premier Division

20 December 2025

There are many who believe former Chancellor Otto von Bismarck to be the greatest ever German. My sixth form History tutor, Charles Rothwell, certainly thought so. It’s hard to disagree, although I’d have to say former Bayern Munich and West German goalkeeper Sepp ‘Die Katze’ Maier would give him a good run for his money. History is unclear with regard to Bismarck’s ability between the sticks and I suspect Maier’s role in Prussia’s rise to dominance in the newly unified 1870s Germany was limited by his not being born until 1944.

But as great a leader as Otto was, the oft repeated quote above shows he had a bit of a downer on one of his country’s greatest contributions to world cuisine, sausages!

Now, don’t get me wrong. I’m not suggesting that sausages were a German invention. Like Bismarck’s shot stopping prowess, history remains somewhat ambiguous as to who made the first sausage. Akkadian text from pre-Christian Mesopotamia is thought to describe meat encased in animal intestines. Sausages are regularly mentioned in Ancient Greek literature; Homer name drops a blood sausage in his best selling page-turner, Odyssey. Aristophanes even wrote a play about a sausage seller who was elected to high office. The Romans also enjoyed a banger but they pretty much copied most things from the Greeks anyway.

Fast forward to the 21st century and many nations have their own regional variations of this staple foodstuff. From Chorizo and Salami to Aussie ‘snags’ and Devon’s. They even make sausages with kangaroo meat but they are only available in a leap year.

Perhaps the world’s biggest selling sausage would be the humble wiener made famous as the interesting bit of a hot dog. Vendors in New York pay mindblowing prices for the right to park their carts in the most prestigious spots and serve New Yorkers with hot dogs, chilli dogs and even corn dogs.

There are some people, dwelling on the fringe of normality, who claim there is such a thing as a vegan sausage. Clearly those people have never looked the word oxymoron up in a dictionary.

In the unlikely event that you have managed to read this far, you may well be wondering why so many column inches have been dedicated to our beloved snorker. Well, bear with me, there are a few reasons…

Prior to yesterday’s game, the only person I have known who comes from Royal Wootton Bassett was Mr Green, my childhood best mate’s grandfather. If I recall correctly, when Mr Green returned home after fighting Nazis in the desert during WWII, he was a butcher in Wootton Bassett. I expect he made thousands of sausages for the good folk of Wiltshire during his career.

The next reason is that Following the Saltmen was entirely fuelled on free sausages for the whole trip. On arrival at the coach we were greeted by the welcome sight of Wayne handing out gratis sausage sarnies to the faithful travellers. After the game, while standing next to the refreshment kiosk at RWBFC, we were offered free surplus footlong hotdogs by our generous hosts. FTS is partial to all sausage related products and free sausage is our absolute favourite.

Finally, in all honesty, the football was not particularly interesting. A couple of goals courtesy of Sir Alex and Josh Hurdman gave Spa a deserved 2-0 lead after a first half dominated by the injury hit Droitwich side. In the spirit of seasonal generosity, the second half was marked by some rather sloppy defending which resulted in Spa gifting RWBFC two goals so the spoils could be shared.

While the result may have been disappointing it was still an enjoyable day. The coach journey was excellent and the facilities at RWBFC are second to none. The presence of two Pétanque courts(?) is something other clubs should also consider. A nice touch can be found in the form of a mural depicting the club’s storied history. I could have looked at it for a long time but as it was located outside the ladies’ toilet and the court order still in force I was unable to linger longer than absolutely necessary.

Speaking of toilets….special mention should be made of the Gents. Without being too graphic, football ground toilets can often be less than pleasant. However, it may be that the RWB gents facility are the best I have ever visited. Clean to a fault, the gents boasts a fresh mango scent making a pleasant change to some lesser facilities we have visited this year.

With plenty of spectator cover, the stadium is modern and comfortable making it a great place to watch the football. Topped off by an extensive and reasonably priced clubhouse bar, the club can be proud of their home and for the warm welcome we received from officials and supporters alike. FTS wishes all the best the club for the remainder of the season.

The much vaunted FTS Man of the Match award goes to club skipper James Lemon who worked hard throughout the game and was involved in much of the best of the Saltmen’s better first half play.

So, that’s it until Santa goes on his holidays.

Best wishes to you and yours from all at Following the Saltmen. Thank you for reading again.

See you soon

Cheers

FTS